


Measure of Noumenon

by BBirdy



Series: Soul Bound [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, False Identity, Friendship, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, Hurt Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Kwami & Miraculous Lore, Light Angst, Mpreg, Plagg Cares (Miraculous Ladybug), Platonic Relationships, Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Secret Identity, Soulmates, Supportive Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28628271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBirdy/pseuds/BBirdy
Summary: "My beautiful kitty," her soft voice whispered every word he'd wanted, anything he wanted to hear. Her warm fingers brushed back his hair.He had felt more loved than in any previous years of life.Eyes pressed tight he grit his teeth, clenched his muscles, every possible meaningful way to hold to the night.Birds chirped outside the window.Sunshine warmth crept across his ruined blanket nest.Whimpering, the slipping away of his dream was as painful as the removal of any organ.
Series: Soul Bound [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769287
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Measure of Noumenon

Settled into his chair, Adrien closed his eyes. For a long moment, he could almost feel the world still turning around him. It wasn't a feeling he was unused to. during old photoshoots and fashion weeks, it was like he could feel time like grains of sand slipping through his fingers. Moments with friends, or ith his lady was to be longed after, sought for and every second as hard-won. 

It was different now. 

Whenever he closed his eyes, sun or moon overhead making its a steady track across the sky, he enjoyed it. Every second was one of peace, something to be cherished. 

That wasn't to say there weren't things he looked forward to. 

But when your whole world had settled underneath your rib cage, there was nothing to run toward. 

"Adrien?"

"Hm?" he didn't bother opening his eyes, listening to Plagg's soft whisper. 

The question didn't need to be asked. The feeling was too clear. 

Adrien still wasn't entirely sure how the bond with Plagg worked. There were some moments when he was sure he could see the little black figure out of the corner of his eye, or feel the soft pressure in his pocket. 

Of course, it wasn't like that anymore. It'd been three months, or more accurately, fourteen weeks, since he'd  _ seen  _ Plagg. That didn't mean he'd gone, however. 

Their conversations still happened, for Plagg couldn't read his mind and Adrien still had to speak to be understood. But on the most basic level, they shared some level of emotional connection. 

Adrien could feel Plagg's concern through the months of body wrenching nausea and exhaustion, knowing it was separate from his own misery. 

It'd happened at once. 

* * *

Woken in the early morning by nothing, or so it seemed, Adrien tried to come to terms with the world around him. Head laid on a blanket that smelled a mix of dust and a girl's perfume, he curled tighter. 

Shifting into a tighter curl he felt the tug of leather armor, his til twisted around his ankle, Adrien froze. 

"Did that just happen?" he whispered into the empty attic room. 

He didn't want to wake up. Waking up meant dealing with the emotions teetering on the cusp of reality. 

Pulling the thin blanket around him he clung to the memory of his night, the memory of a fantastical dream. 

_ My beautiful kitty, _ that soft voice whispered every word he'd wanted, anything he would have wanted to hear. Her warm fingers brushed back his hair. 

It was odd. He knew he'd dreamed of seeing her in mildly more compromising positions. But there had been no stripping, no dirty talk, not even a kiss. 

Still, he had felt more loved than in his previous years of life. 

Eyes pressed tight he grit his teeth, clenched his muscles, every possible meaningful way to hold to the night.

Birds chirped outside the window. 

Sunshine warmth crept across his ruined blanket nest. 

Whimpering, the abandonment of his dream is as painful as the removal of any organ he glanced through his lashes. 

Around him, what had once been his flawless den, his safe haven, had turned back into the dirty condemned building. 

"The first place my la- Ladybug could think of was this?" he tried to quell the bitterness rising. 

No, not bitterness. 

Coming up his throat was something much more solid. 

* * *

The nausea had lasted so long Adrien was sure he'd never be able to keep anything solid down ever again. 

He knew he should have hated it, despised every sick moment. 

But he couldn't. 

"You're a sentimental sap, you know that right?" Plagg's laugh hadn't changed. 

"I know," Adrien pulled his knees up to his chest. 

"You're allowed to be outwardly happy too, you know that right?"

Adrien didn't answer. 

Was he?

"With who?" he pushed himself back to his feet. 

No answer.

"That's what I thought."

Walking to the end of the room, Adrien let his ungloved hands brush across old wallpaper. He hadn't bothered with the gloves, not since finding his hiding place. Why would he need to? No one ever saw him. 

"It's dangerous to be here," Plagg said, for what might have been the thousandth time.

"Why?" Adrien resumed his usual argument. 

Prepared with new reasons Plagg geared up. 

Adrien could feel the gathering of strength. The usual argument would always come around in circles. But where else but his childhood home could he hide? 

The Agreste manor had been empty for years now. No one dared enter, no one but him. 

In the time since discovering Nooroo and the Soul Bond, the place had been stripped of its remaining value. 

No furniture but cheap leftovers, no kitchen products, no linens but what he'd brought in. What reason would anyone have to inspect it? And, with many windows boarded, he knew how to stay hidden. 

"What if you're seen?" had been the very first argument.

"How?" Adrien had pointed out. He was on the ground floor, staying in the downstairs coat closet, which had never had windows. And as long as excited through the mudroom door only, which opened into the overgrown back garden, he would never be seen.

"What if you are?" the argument that always came next. 

"And who would think twice about Chat Noir looking into the place where Hawkmoth had his headquarters, especially with his kwami still missing?"

Adrien admitted he did hate that part the most. He'd placed the broch beside his abandoned gloves. 

But Plagg had been thinking, and finally had something else. 

"What if Ladybug comes to look around?"

Pausing on the short walk he thought. "I'll tell her the truth," he reasoned. "That, as Chat Noir, I've been staying here, just to have a place to stay. If she knew anywhere better to hide me then she wouldn't have taken our soul bond into that old attic."

There was an indignancy there, too strong to ignore. 

"Adrien…"

He paused, halfway along the hallway. It also had no window. And with no electricity, it meant he'd been left in relative darkness. 

"Have you even talked to her?"

"You know I haven't."

That wasn't entirely true. They had talked. 

After being left alone like a one-night stand Chat had vowed not to see her again. He hadn't been sure if it would be okay, not with Plagg's warnings of his underlying need to soulbond again. 

But he had. 

* * *

Walking along rooftops Chat Noir made quite the figure on moonlit rooftops. 

Internally he was just grateful that he had a few hours free from nausea. The night air helped. 

Taking each step carefully he re-evaluated his balance. Was it off? or was that only in the far reaches of his mind?

The far distant sounds of alarm bells caught him. 

Down on all fours, he was off before rational thought could catch up. 

"Adrien," Plagg called from a great distance "Adrien what are you doing?"

"Helping," he said aloud coming to a screeching halt outside the large building. He knew it was some kind of jewelry store. 

Sliding from the rooftops he found himself on the ground, tucking the staff into his belt. 

"What are you doing?" Plagg called again. 

"Shh," Adrien looked around the corner, blinking lamp like eyes into the darkness. 

No movement. 

"I think it; might have been a false alarm," Adrien whispered aloud. 

"It wasn't."

He nodded, agreeing with Ladybug's voice before he knew what he was doing. "How many?"

Stepping into enough light she could be seen Ladybug swung her yo-yo slowly around, backing up one step at a time. 

He took her arm. 

She didn't flinch. His touch was familiar. 

"Three. I've got two stuck in the main office at the end of the hall. But there's a third I wasn't able to see where he went."

"Adrien!" Plagg yelled louder, a scream silent to all but the one who ignored him. 

"Shh," he was more intent now, scanning the room. 

Taking his insistence as a sign Ladybug tensed. 

He didn't release her arm. 

"Ten o clock, six footer!" Chat Noir took a step back. 

She launched forward. The yo-yo string took out the man's ankles, a bag of jewelry over his shoulder flying like sea spray in the darkness. 

"Got him!" Ladybug called. Tying the man's ankles, a light flipped onward. 

Police sirens filled the room. 

People surged past.

And the teammates got to look at each other for the first time in nearly three weeks. 

There wasn't anything different, not really, nothing noticeable. 

But with danger out of the way, there were no words, none that came easily at least. 

Gesturing uselessly out at the dark street Ladybug led the way. And they wove between the police, stopping only once to give information. 

Ladybug paused behind the still flashing car. 

Still holding his staff firmly in closed fists, Chat Noir followed. 

They were still a perfect team. And that bone-deep need, the fire that sparked when he merely thought of her, had vanished. He couldn't honestly say  _ all _ passion was gone. His heart still skipped several beats as he stood close enough to take in that floral perfume. 

"How are you?"

Her words were stiff, a rehearsed play of formality. 

"Fine."

His were not much different. 

"How do you think they got in?" she nodded her head toward the building. 

"Couldn't hazard a guess," Chat Noir planted his elbows on the hood of the police car, chin in his hands. "But at least they'll be learning Officer Roger's favorite gemstone."

They watched the third man, ankle cuffed now instead of wired, being dragged down the stone steps and shoved into the car. 

Ladybug paused. "What?"

"Courts," he grinned.

Rolling her eyes Ladybug sighed.

He couldn't help but laugh. It felt nice. This felt nice. Arms crossed over his middle he leaned his head back, taking a deep breath of the cool evening air. 

After a long moment, she finally spoke. 

"Can we talk?" 

Good feeling gone. 

* * *

"You said no!" Plagg grumped. 

Adrien was sure, could he see his little friend, Plagg would be waving his arms wildly. 

"You told her no and then you just ran off. The first time in three weeks and you-"

"How was I supposed to talk to her?" Adrien demanded. "What  _ exactly _ was I supposed to say? Yeah, princess, I've been swell, just sleeping in a basement after you left me and ignored all my calls?" 

He took a deep breath, forcing his wild emotions back to calm. Everything felt so near the surface lately. He didn't like it, didn't like feeling like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. 

Plagg let the silence stretch. 

It didn't stop Adrien from feeling Plagg's own regret. It mixed with his own guilt like oil and water, twisting him up. 

"Let's go out for the evening," Adrien said finally. "We've been cooped up too long."

" _ You've _ been cooped up too long," Plagg reminded, tone turned easier. "For the first time in a thousand years, I'm finally free of my craving for Camembert."

Laughing lightly, Adrien, stepped on the heel of his house slippers, kicking them into the corner. "If I start craving expensive cheese-"

"You will."

Groaning playfully Adrien pulled open the mudroom closet. Inside, hung on the pole was his tail, only a normal belt to him now. His steel-toed boots joined a few other jackets and pants. 

Since bonding, Adrien found himself able to strip away the protective armor. The zippers came undone. And yet he felt like he was removing layers of skin every time they were taken away. So he'd left the thin leather-like outfit. Without it's more protective padding, it wasn't difficult to sleep in them. And they were his only clothing items that never needed washing. 

Adrien ran a hand over the closet, fingers brushing cheap hoodies and second-hand t-shirts. 

To any outsider, the idea of a child sleeping in a pile of blankets and picking outworn clothing seemed utterly depressing. 

Adrien was sure he had never been more happy. 

Never in his life had he been allowed to _choose_ his own clothing. "What do you think, Plagg?" he hummed, fingering the tattered sleeve of a red hoodie. 

He hadn't yet worn the red. 

"I thought we were going out for fun," Plagg pouted. 

Instinctively, Adrien felt his hand close around the edge of the belt. "Fun  _ and _ groceries," he pulled the tail down, wrapping it twice around his waist before deciding on a deeper green jacket and zipping it up against the faux leather. "We're almost out of everything but tinned food. And a spam dinner doesn't sound appetizing."

"Do we need more money?"

"I don't think so," Adrien paused, crouching beside the little safe. He'd personally pulled it from the wall of his father's study. Along with what few valuables had been there, it also housed whatever cash he had managed to get.   


* * *

"You're sure about this?" Markov asked again, seemingly for the hundredth time. 

"Completely," Chat Noir tried to stay in the window sill of the computer lab. 

Late evening it may be, but there was always the chance he'd see something in his eyes, catch something, sniff out the lie. Having only been a few hours since his soul bond he was sure he still smelled of sweat and that lovely sweet perfume. 

"Besides," he forced causal energy into his stance. "It's a sensitive case, one I wouldn't trust to just anybody."

He winced internally, watching Markov swell with pride. 

Adrien didn't like lying. He also didn't like handing over the poorly photoshopped picture of himself, blonde only at the roots and his eyes shifted a little. There was only enough difference between his real picture and that one. There was a real chance Markov would notice. 

It was a chance he'd have to take. 

"And you won't tell me who this used to be?" Markov asked, carefully pasting the last ID onto its thicker plastic card. 

"I really can't," Adrien tried for a smile, watching him put the ID into the manilla envelope. 

Inside lay a birth certificate, identification, tax information and any other necessary documents for someone's brand new identity; namely Adrien's own.

"Adriano Mallory," Markov typed out the last of the repetitions. "Nice name."

"I'll let him know you think so," Chat took the last of the printed papers, sealing the envelope. 

They gave him an out, gave him a way to collect his things across town. And with the final seal of tap across paper Adrien Agreste was no more, though how was anyone else to know?   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Behold. More of my nonsense. :D
> 
> I love to reply to any and all comments no matter the size or content. 
> 
> And I love to hear all requests and will do my best to include them going forward!


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